So here it is a short while later. I figured I have the time to post. I have so many thoughts in my head. Just random little tidbits. Now that guard duty is over I wonder if I will have the same kind of time to think as much as I did while there. The time to think is a commodity I can't seem to hang onto here. I have spent a fare amount of time getting back to meditating. Finding my core. Buddhist teaching constantly talks about not hanging on to the personification of self and understanding that we are all part of the universe. I get it, but sometimes it doesn't seem that straight to the point. It is hard to let go of what I consider the human condition. We all crave acceptance and community. It is the nature of humans in the quest to not feel alone. I have found that when I am alone, I do my best thinking, but it is only in an effort to better interact with those around me.

The universe and karma have a tendency to assert their will and show that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. It is the smallest little moment when it happens. It is like the light bulb over the head that is used as a reference in TV and cartoon shows to represent an epiphany. My epiphany came in the form of stepping back and really thinking about everything that is going on in my life. It isn't my ideal but as my 11th grade English teacher said "reality is less than the ideal." I am in a very strange time in my life where everything is changing and there is nothing but open road to travel. In one step it is scary as hell, but faith guides my heel on the other footfall. I am only limited by my own perceptions.