OK so here I am. I know, I know, I am a major slacker for not keeping up on here. September was a draining month. Worked my tail off at work. I decided a week ago that I was going to try for a 40 mile run week by the end of October. I guess the dream of the half marathon hasn't died yet. It is the shimmering white whale, the Elenore, or whatever metaphor you can think of for it. I have talked about it forever and it feels like this is my chance. I am already up to 12 or 13 miles in my first week back to running. They felt pretty good. Time to start pushing harder if the quest is to be fulfilled. I figure if I can knock out 20 to 25 this next week I should be able to step up the third week to 30 end get my 40 mile week in before Halloween. Thar she blows!
Anyway I am a nerd.

More to follow.

Alrighty then! First post of the month. Today I have been letting my thoughts wonder. The only thing that really has made it on my radar is something that most people take for granted. Eye contact. It seems that in this day and age, that not enough people pay much attention to this very important social tool. Most folks don't even realize that if you look carefully you can see what someone is thinking by looking to the eyes. Of course the muscles around the eyes help as well, but it is the total picture. Just the most subtle movement of the eyebrows, the eyelids, and the movements of the eyes, can elude to a whole language.

The thing that brings me to this thought is simply the social interaction of the people I am around. I watch them all and see how there eyes denote their mood and what possibly is going on between the ears. When someone smiles, the eyebrows and forehead muscles soften, becoming less angular and tense. The eyes themselves tend to be soft as well. The strange occurence is that they seem to soften in color as well. Transversly, the opposite happens when there is anger on the mind. The eyebrows furrow and the color intensifies. These are simple examples. The complication comes in deciphering the in between emotions.

Establishing eye contact is also a handy tool in the work place. By establishing eye contact when you speak, most people will get the sense that you know what you are talking about and are less likely to second guess you. Very handy in the Army by the way. It also shows that you have confidence and are steadfast. It also comes as courtesy in my mind. If you are going to talk to someone it should go without saying you should make contact, it comes off as rude when people don't direct the eyes to the one they are speaking with. Now obviously in a social setting, when you are telling a story, it makes sense to look around. I hate public speaking, but on occasion I have to do it, such as giving a class. I look around at everyone.

I hope that everyone who reads this has some instictual understanding of some of the basics. Most everyone should know the "sex eyes". The kind of eyes that say wow your hot and I am attracted. Then there is the deep in thought eyes, where the face as a whole is stoic, kind of like a thousand yard stare. Where the eyes refocus on something at a distance and are locked there until someone asks "are you alright" or "anybody in there". I am guilty of that one alot. Most often, that is when I am having an away moment. Either thinking of something that has already happened or just flat out open eyed meditation. I have mastered the ability to seriously seperate my mind from my body. It feels like there is no feeling in my body and my senses are turned off or dulled, in the case of seeing and hearing. I almost feel like I leave my body for a moment or two. Meditation is awesome when you get to that point.

Eyes really are the gateway to the soul. I find that my gateway is an open door and I come and go through it with ease. The big question I have is, what does all the thinking and interpretation of eye contact really mean to me in my life. As someone who doesn't plan out the future except for the major things, why does it matter? That is where I get hung up. I guess I need to ponder that question longer.

I don't have anything profound to report in this post other than my improvement in the physical domain. I am now in my second week of weight training and already I have gained strength. Pretty much every individual exercise I do, I have raised the weights by 10-15 pounds per exercise. To me that says that I am doing something right. Now if I can just show those increases in my body shape. I am down to 220 and feeling good. I think I am transplacing my body fat and gained muscle. The only thing that tells me that I am growing in muscle is that my uniform doesn't fit the same it was before I started. I just noticed 2 days ago that my shoulders are tight in my uniform and the back doesn't let me move as freely. I just hope I don't have to buy a bunch of new tops to my uniform.

Cardio still is on the side. I have been focusing a lot of time lifting. I am going to tweak my work outs though. I try to incorporate at least one dynamic and one abdominal exercise per session. I think I might start adding some kind of cardio as well. Even if it is only ten minutes a day, but still have two solid 45 to an hour sessions a week. Once I have the time and I remember I will take a picture and post it here. I will post another thinking post in a day or so, stayed tuned.

thanks

Here is a recent pic of me.

Alright so here it is the middle of my night and I promised myself I would post. About what I don't know. I figure I would let the words just flow. I guess my mind is kind of stuck on flagrant lately. I have slowly found myself getting to this I don't care what you think status. I am surrounded by people and they all run on and on about this or that, but my brain is screaming who cares. Most of what's said is shrift. Instead of just saying what I am thinking, I do the right thing and remain quiet and walk away. Which got me thinking, which would most people prefer? A world where everyone held nothing back and told you the flat truth or a world where there were lies and half truths so that peoples feelings could be saved?

Obviously the first is harsh, cold, to the point. Yeah it would suck but at least it would all be on the table. I think to a certain extent it would be good for society as a whole. On the second part though you have some resilience and subtle flow of information. It would be easier to mold the truths into a more acceptable format for understanding. Which us as humans hold onto so dearly, in our daily lives. We believe in reasoning. It is what defines us from our "animal" counterparts on this floating ball called Earth. For myself I would prefer the first. With all the truth immediately in hand, decisions would be more accurate and efficient. My only caveat is that we as humans would have a breakdown and would likely become extinct. I say this because the courtship of humans relies on partial truths and turning the truth, on the things that are unfavorable, in a way that favors us to attract a mate. Animals mostly have a visual, sound, or a smell that alerts suitors that they are ready to mate. Plain, simple, straight to the point. Some birds build nests to attract mates. The female bird judges it and if it is suitable they stay and mate. All instincts point to furthering the species. Humans we are much more selective.

I guess I kind of went out to lunch there for a moment and rambled, sorry. If that wasn't enough for you my next post will be about humans subtle language in eye contact and body language. It is in my nature to observe people. I have a photographic memory so when I see something it is like a still frame picture. I eventually forget things, but with people I have a tendency to stare. I find myself observing individual facial and body movements to give clues to what people are thinking. Most people are hung up on words. It goes back to the saying that actions speak louder than words.

Anyway I leave this parting thought:

"Believe nothing,no matter where you read it or who has said it,not even if I have said it,unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."

Buddha

Be good to one another.

So here it is a short while later. I figured I have the time to post. I have so many thoughts in my head. Just random little tidbits. Now that guard duty is over I wonder if I will have the same kind of time to think as much as I did while there. The time to think is a commodity I can't seem to hang onto here. I have spent a fare amount of time getting back to meditating. Finding my core. Buddhist teaching constantly talks about not hanging on to the personification of self and understanding that we are all part of the universe. I get it, but sometimes it doesn't seem that straight to the point. It is hard to let go of what I consider the human condition. We all crave acceptance and community. It is the nature of humans in the quest to not feel alone. I have found that when I am alone, I do my best thinking, but it is only in an effort to better interact with those around me.

The universe and karma have a tendency to assert their will and show that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. It is the smallest little moment when it happens. It is like the light bulb over the head that is used as a reference in TV and cartoon shows to represent an epiphany. My epiphany came in the form of stepping back and really thinking about everything that is going on in my life. It isn't my ideal but as my 11th grade English teacher said "reality is less than the ideal." I am in a very strange time in my life where everything is changing and there is nothing but open road to travel. In one step it is scary as hell, but faith guides my heel on the other footfall. I am only limited by my own perceptions.

So I know I am a massive slacker in keeping this up to date, but I have been all over and had little time to post. I have been keeping track of my workouts, which I will post the tally at the end of this post. I haven't really made as much progress as I had hoped. It still might seem pretty good to some folks. The trip to the sandbox this time is not so forgiving with time off. The time I do get, I find myself trying to be as efficient as possible. Although sleep is my big time consumer. After working 12 hours and working out has put me in a state of sore and tired.

My mind is racing at a million miles a minute lately. Wondering from here to there without any kind of transition, my thoughts are random. Like today for instance, I was standing in the motor pool trying to get my vehicle fixed and a song was playing on a radio. I couldn't make out the words exactly but the music itself had this soaring kind of rhythm. It made my mind change completely from annoyed to content. I couldn't help but think that it was amazing that a song could totally change my mood that easily. Music is just this amazing thing that when you hear the right songs it can change so much in the world.

My mood lately has been very contemplative. I have returned to writing down small threads of thoughts. It seems to help keep me from forgetting some of my really good thoughts. The days roll by and I have nearly filled a spiral notebook. It feels like the winds of my life have shifted into my sails, righting my craft into the open sea. Focus is slowly returning and I feel like I am sharpening. It occurs to me that I haven't been like this in quite a long time. I will eventually put some of the stuff I have written down here on this blog. Perhaps the walking meditations as I call them, have really started helping. For those wondering I follow Buddhist teachings. I meditate, but time is always in a crunch. I have developed the capability to meditate pretty much anytime, anywhere. I can only describe it as a few minutes here and there where my mind shuts off and I feel like I leave my body for brief moments. It really has had an acute difference as I have let it happen more often.

Saying all that would seem like I am in better spirits as of late, however my moods are like a roller coaster. I have really good days and yet there are other days that I am down. I guess in some ways it is fairly normal, but I never let on what I really am from day to day to those around me. I guess the poker face hides it well. The lows aren't enough for me to really worry about though.

Alrighty the workouts. Getting the time has been hard, but I have amassed 700 regular push ups, 500 wide arm push ups, 450 close hand push ups, 1000 crunches, 1000 sit-ups, 500 squats(weight free), bench pressed up to 200 lbs, and deadlifted up to 260 lbs in a little over two weeks. 5 sessions of sprints and plyometrics, which really kicked my ass. I really think I need to step up my dynamic exercises to kick it into high gear. I haven't been logging my runs as often because I keep forgetting to put the sensor in my shoe for the nike+. I have run close to 60 miles and biked 80 miles or somewhere in that neighborhood. Not bad I say.....more to follow. Wish me luck!

Okay so its been a hot minute since I started this blog, but now that I pretty much settled in here at Taji I will be posting more often. My stay in Kuwait was miserable. The sandstorms, heat, and stupid people were all so miserable. At least I wont have to deal with it again until much later this year. I still managed to lose about ten pounds there, no complaints. From here out I will be posting pictures and updating my nikeplus character in the sidebar to the right.

For those keeping score, I will be working nights here for the immediate future. I am kind of happy with that because I will more or less be on the same schedule as most folks in the states. I don't think it really matters though because most everyone has their own schedule. Now that I have internet whenever I want and with no time limits, I will catch up with everyone.

Workouts start in the morning so I will post again with what I did. Wish me luck.

I decided that I want to have a running collection of my life for the next year or so. I will be sending the appropriate info to all those that I would like to follow me on my journey. My goals for this year are pretty hefty. I will have some difficulty getting where I want to be, however as I have often believed anything worth doing should be somewhat difficult. What good is a challenge to easily achieved?

So, the question stands. What are your goals? For starters, I am hoping to transfer my fat weight to muscle weight plus about 15 pounds of lean muscle growth. I am looking at getting my body fat percentage down to 10 to 15 percent. That is my primary goal. The secondary goal, which falls in line with the first, is to run at least a half-marathon. For those not versed in running distance that is 13.1 miles. I would like to run it at about a 7 & 1/2 minute mile pace. The big key is having the necessary time to run it. Hopefully I will.

Lastly, as time rolls on I will be posting here all my workout details. I am a user of the Nike plus program and regularly post my runs on line. I will place a link to my info on Nike plus in the sidebar for any that want to follow my running. Any feed back, no matter if it's good or bad, will be appreciated. Wish me luck.

On a parting note, I will from time to time post some random trivia questions to see how many people can answer.